Truth Beyond Price

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you would be willing to risk everything for it? Spend years of your life pursuing it, preparing for it, this thing that promises to fulfill you, give your life meaning and purpose and believe will truly make you happy, convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt this thing, or this path is the right path for you. So you commit you’ll do whatever it takes including: barter with God,  plead with the universe, and try and align yourself with the stars (and anything else you can think of) to help you make this thing come true. Then one day, you’re walking along praying for guidance, dropping into the flow of the great Divine, the furthest thing in the world is thinking about what you want, or how to make it happen, or any of the things that usually occupies your mind, when suddenly you realize…you don’t want it anymore! Just like that. Like a ripe apple falling from a tree on to the ground, plop…and there it is. As though a gentle breeze washed over you and it’s simply gone. Your drive, your push, the whole kit n'caboodle, over...done. You might even keep on walking; look up at the sky and wonder, Hmmmm, what was that all about? You may even think: Did I let it go? Did I outgrow it? Or maybe you just walk on as  a wave of relief passes through, happily leaving it behind.

My respect for the mystery of life, particularly the courage and vigilance that it takes to awaken and stay awake in a world intoxicated with unconsciousness is unrivaled. My own path has fostered in me the deepest humility I have ever known. Those of us who have braved this journey, daring to ask: Who am I? What is my purpose? In seeking the truth at every turn we have found this earnest seeking sometimes comes with a price, sometimes it takes everything you are and everything you’ve got and then sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere, like your breath, it is there.

Asking for (sometimes begging) and receiving guidance is no frivolous act nor a fad but rather a willingness to give it all up for the truth, what’s most real, even if there’s no guarantee, if you in the end have only been given a glimpse. Being a seeker at a time when so many have been led to believe we can valuate our worth as a human being, this seemingly foolish act is no less than heroic. And then there's Grace, the other times when we let go, relax into the flow, the stream, sit in the center of the cyclone, tired from seeking, struggling, searching, doing anything...and in that silent empty place the truth, the gift appears.

But what if what we don’t like the guidance we get or the truth we find? And why would we give up “so much” with no guarantee? And letting go of EVERYTHING? What’s up with that? I mean that’s why we have free will, right? Isn’t that radical?  Where’s the balance in that? And who wants to sit in a cyclone—if you want something, make it happen. We live in America, we are free. We get to redefine the American dream, we can do anything! Are you saying we should shed it all and go wandering around the hills in an orange robe?

My answer is I don’t know. All I can say is when I look back over my life, unequivocally everything that has been real and true has been as a result of my searching and then letting go, doing my level best to follow my heart and passion as well as align with The Divine, listening for and following that guidance...and not necessarily in that order. It’s been my practice for many years. I sit quietly when I can, listen to my body, move,  dance,  pray, listen some more…and then (sometimes more readily than others) I do what I believe is the next right thing.

Despite myself (my little “I” loves to cling to its preferred types of guidance and reject other bits and pieces) I am learning to trust this relatively unique approach to help me navigate my way to wherever it is I may be going. The Divine turn is always “the right” turn. At least that’s been true for me. And certainly last but not least, they say the truth will set you free and I have never found this to be misleading, and worth whatever the cost. Wishing you all love and blessings as we walk this path...