Couples fight. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes these fights provide comic relief, or they can threaten the very survival of the relationship.

Psychologist and relationship consultant James Creighton wrote Loving through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships from Separate Realities to help bridge our different perceptions or experiences of reality. He shares some of his eleven ways to express feelings with minimal blame and accusation, listen with empathy, stop behaviors that make fights escalate before they spin out of control, and much more. We can live happily and productively together and find excitement and fulfillment, rather than disappointment and frustration, in our differences!

“Trying all the approaches discussed in this book may take weeks, months, or even longer. Some of us who started down this path are still on it years later. But it has been worth it,” writes Creighton. “To understand and gain control over the meanings you attach to life is a constantly fulfilling process. It begins with understanding and accepting responsibility for creating your own reality.”