Have you ever heard the phrase “Keep doing what you’re doing, get more of what you got,” made popular by Werner Erhard? Either way, you will soon see why this truth begs an introduction to what I call your “tomorrow-me”! That’s the YOU that’s here today representing the you of tomorrow (and the next day, and so on). It’s the you that observes and reports on all the thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions you have today and will have to live with; the you that intervenes and tries to help you think them through and make the best choices and decisions. When I first discovered my tomorrow me, she materialized as a small but firm voice in my head just after she watched me throw yet another coat on an already sizable pile of coats that my “oblivious, tired and procrastinating me” had made, and interrupted "Ahem…do you really think your tomorrow me wants to hang those up?” I could almost see her with her hands on her hips giving me a little attitude. I thought, My what? “That’s right, you heard me, your tomorrow me. The me that will be having to hang up these same coats tomorrow!” I thought, Now that’s brilliant (or insane), my tomorrow me is here to help me manage my life. How cool…I think? On the one hand, I needed help: on the other hand I kinda liked the part of me that had dominated up until this point…you know, the part that is quick to come up with a good story or rationalization for why you do what you do and how you will worry about that (or whatever) tomorrow! Well, whether I liked it or not the party was over, fortunately; and yes, unfortunately for my inner procrastinator/victim/rationalizing avoider.
I wasn’t unfamiliar with the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over (and, in my case, over again) expecting a different result, which is why I suspect my tomorrow me materialized to help. Or maybe it was because I was exhausted trying to control everything in my life, over-committing, overextending, people-pleasing, etc, piling things on my tomorrow me. Not coincidentally, given my recent surrender (another blog), this little, steady, fierce voice appeared seemingly out of nowhere. I had heard the voice before, but I mostly ignored it or found ways to drown it out. A Divine gift, if you think about its sudden appearance and volume.
Since then it has served my highest self at every turn. And I notice that it works sort of like a hummingbird. It can move backwards and forwards. It can move into the past and show me my behavior and patterns and illuminate how it (fill in whatever) didn’t serve me then, and then into the future and show me the logic of how it won’t serve me tomorrow either, if I do it now. And when it comes to dating and relationships I can’t say enough about my tomorrow me. Boy, nowhere near enough. I have been rescued time and again by its steady reminders to think this or that through. While I didn’t always (and sometimes still don’t) listen, it is always spot-on with good, sound advice, and over time I have learned to trust this part of myself, the inner loving me that is looking out for my best interest, large and small! Here are a few practical ways you can get acquainted and partner with your tomorrow me:
* Sit in a chair (or lie down), close your eyes and ask; Please reveal to me my tomorrow me. The part of me that will look out for me today on behalf of all my tomorrows. And listen quietly, paying attention to any feelings or sensations that arise, any images that you see, and repeat as necessary until you connect.
* Start a journal, or make a list of some areas of your life that would benefit by developing your tomorrow me: relationship choices, sex, money, career, or more specifics; I notice I am so impatient when it comes to (fill in the blank) or I wish I would stop giving in and drinking with my partner because it’s affecting my health and balance or I need to stop spending money telling myself everything will just work out because it’s not. Be as specific as you like.
* Make a commitment to check in with your tomorrow me at least once during the day for starters. Creating a new habit takes a while and this is achievable!
* Reward your tomorrow me for a job well done with praise or a healthy, fulfilling treat! You will start to have extra energy and time and your life will find a nice balance as you rely on your tomorrow me, so make sure you let yourself know how grateful you are for it/your support!
Keep in mind your tomorrow me is not harsh, mean or overly vigilant (those are other inner archetypes). Your tomorrow me is not unlike the most loving, firm parent you know who wants you to be happy and thrive!
So whether you have or haven’t met your tomorrow me I can tell you this: it is one of the most important relationships you will ever have in your whole life!