The Inner-View, Part 1: The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master

Finding out who people are: seems like it would be relatively easy, primarily given that your body registers more than 90% of all perceptible information pre-cognitively. As a human being your internal navigational system, your intuition and senses, were designed to help “know” what you need to know about anyone within seconds, literally;

Dreaded scale...can you weigh my worth?

I approach the digital oracle with menacing eyes and pull it from its hiding place behind the dirty-clothes basket. I carefully but quickly place the shiny land mine on the bathroom floor and stand back, seeking the courage that will reveal my fate, I mean weight. “O mighty oracle, be kind,” I silently plead, “let me not awaken the fiery Fat Gods,

Relationship Spring Cleaning checklist

Your Spring Relationship Cleaning checklist…do you have one? Like everything else, relationships go through cycles and phases… sometimes we face really long, long harsh and lonely droughts, or painful, drawn-out intense periods, or perhaps you're currently enjoying the "pink cloud” effect of a new love! Wherever you find yourself, I am here to help you get ready for Spring

Understanding your emotions as aspects of your soul

These ideas from Chinese Medicine spoke to me; here's a paper I wrote for Dr. Alan Kilpatrick at Pacifica Graduate Institute, “Emotions and Chinese Medicine.” According to psychologist and behavioral scientist Paul Eckman’s pioneering research on human emotions, we bipedal creatures cross-culturally share six basic emotions: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and surprise.

Who would you be without your story?

Imagine you’re in seventh grade and you see someone across the courtyard you like (“like” defined as: a warm, compelling feeling based largely on superficial and unexamined factors). And let’s say, for example, some of those factors include: this person looks like a Greek God (or Goddess), has sun-bleached hair, tanned skin, Chicklet-white teeth, and is wearing a strand of puka shells around their neck.

Feeding the Dark Wolf

Yesterday started like many another: I woke up. Normally I am grateful I’m on the right side of the ground, count up the hours I slept peacefully, pause to recall and explore my dreams, evaluate any disturbances, and inquire into my feeling state. Then I ritually discuss mutual inquiry with my husband. At which point my Reubenesque cat, Leila, hurls herself directly into my face purring at full throttle,

Connecting with Nature

When I was a kid I figured Nature was basically a guy thing, the same way I supposed wearing wigs, for example, was primarily a girl thing. That’s probably because when I was growing up it was men who did things like hunt, spear, shoot, capture and in some cases kill while the females stayed, let’s say, nearer to the hearth (or shopping mall).

Praying backwards

What if life and death were just two towns along the same highway, and your body was a vessel given to you as a gift, a transport system to carry your soul from one place to the next? What if everything you did or thought, and everything you consumed or said

Single for Valentine's Day?

A reporter asked me to help him with his column the other day, and his first question was: “Valentine’s Day is coming up. But where can you meet someone if you’re single?” I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for?

Is your password strong?

A very attractive single mom recently told me this story: She had met a man and felt sure he was the man of her dreams. There was a synchronicity about their meeting she could not ignore; the chemistry was electric and the sex, she said, was the best she had ever had—in her life, I might add. It had to be love, she gushed! But she had a question for me. “What do you think this means?

Separating the B___ from the Sh&*#!

The other day I was headed to a yoga class. I noticed that my watch and the clock in my car were 10 minutes apart, which meant that if my watch was right I might be late, which meant I might not find a place to park, lay my mat in my favorite spot by the door, or even get in class. So what did I do? What any good American chasing the American dream going to a yoga class would do, I sped up!

New Year's Intention 2015

This morning I sat cross-legged close to the fire, guzzling my green tea as if it could cure my post-Xmas hangover, thinking how quickly it all goes. It was just 12 hours ago that I fell into bed after our annual ritual family feast of sugar and fat that this year without exaggeration started with warm chocolate chip scones and unforgiveable loads of See’s candy, which led to chips, followed by of course more chips, sour-cream infused dips, cream cheese-filled meat, and then just obscene amounts of

7 ways to set yourself up—to succeed in the New Year!

Can you remember what your New Year’s resolutions were last year? How did that work out for you? Let’s see, mine were: to be less judgmental, and to slow down and take myself less seriously. No easy task for the hyper-vigilant monster that dwells deep in (and, unfortunately, outside) my subconscious. In the hopes of luring and capturing this beast of burden,

The best gift ideas of all!

It’s easy to get besieged by the sheer volume the holiday season brings with it. And while much of what we are actually celebrating and why gets buried underneath our “list” (which seems to grow each year, and not always in proportion to our bank account), there’s plenty of time to resurrect the Joy the season has to offer by revisiting what it actually means to give!

Develop great Mate-dar!

You’re single and want to meet that someone special NOW! Especially since we are going into a fresh new year, right? So naturally your Mate-dar (your ability to suss out a great mate) is turned up a notch. Or so you think. Truth is, Mate-dar is only as good as its end user.